bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
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