Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
