there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Randomize
