Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize
