the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
