I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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