let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Randomize
