Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Randomize
