That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
