DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
