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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
