every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
