i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
