oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
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