Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
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