Don't you send me to vm
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
