I got chris browned last night
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Randomize
