just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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