pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I got inside last night via doggy door
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Randomize
