wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
