I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
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