She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
