that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
