She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
