I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Randomize
