Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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