How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Randomize
