I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
