oh god the rape fog is back!
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
