Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Randomize
