yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
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