I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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