is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
