The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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