i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Randomize
