u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
