I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
