I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Randomize
