I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
