all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
