and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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