His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
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