he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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