if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
