I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
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