He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
