i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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