The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
