apparently the secret to your success is patron
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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