Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
